Decoding Mitt Romney

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WHEN I MISS SEAMUS THE MOST

Driving really isn’t the same without a terrified dog strapped to the roof of your car.

WHEN I HOSTED THE 71ST ANNUAL HUNGER GAMES

WHEN I AUDITIONED FOR “AMERICAN IDOL”

How Simon reacted:

WHEN I’M DOING DONUTS IN MY DAD’S CAR

WHEN I ZONE OUT DURING A DEBATE

WHEN MY RECORD BITES ME IN THE BUTT

WHEN OBAMA ENDORSED SAME-SEX MARRIAGE

WHEN AN INTERN INTERRUPTS MY SOLITARY 3 P.M. PANCAKE BINGE

WHEN I FEEL REALLY REALLY RIDICULOUSLY GOOD LOOKING

WHEN I’M HANGING OUT WITH THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO STILL BELIEVE IN TRICKLE DOWN ECONOMICS